We spend so much time in this society trying to make people (most notably ourselves) feel good that we almost always fail to step back and look at what people, left to their own devices, actually choose.
We have become obsessed with the politically correct notion of inclusiveness. Everyone belongs everywhere, basically. No boundaries, no walls, no restrictions, basically, no no’s.
Like most things that wind up stupid, this all began with the best of intentions. Of course we needed to realize that women could be doctors, blacks could drink from the same fountains, and disabled kids belonged in the same schools as “regular,” kids.
What we didn’t need, in the name of making everyone feel good, was women at men’s poker parties, Black Lives Matter, and handicapped kids being told they can play basketball in wheelchairs with able bodied kids.
People are most comfortable around like minded people. That doesn’t mean blacks can’t be friends with whites or vice-versa. It doesn’t mean men can’t enjoy the company of women they don’t have any desire to sleep with. It simply means that we often want to seek out someone who can truly relate to us, who has actually experienced something we have experienced, who can provide a very unique perspective to us that someone else can’t. And that’s ok.
What the hell good am I going to do for my African American girlfriend when she’s the victim of racism other than be sympathetic? I’m a blonde haired, blue eyed American man. I have no idea what it means to be racially profiled or discriminated against. I can’t relate at all to what she may experience, all I can offer is an ear, some anger, some support, and a hug. What the hell good am I to a female friend who is looking for empathy as a result of her pregnancy? Same basic things, minus the hug because pregnant women are gross.
Our level of social engineering is, of course, going to be the end of us as a society eventually because we just refuse to accept things as they are, as they’re meant to be, and as we would choose them to be, if we were actually left alone. And yes, it’s OK to acknowledge and say “how they’re meant to be,” when speaking of like-minded people seeking out like-minded others. Political Correctness be damned, it’s how we’re built. We need more places, not fewer, where people hide amongst themselves. Those of you who get angry at ebonysingles.com because you scream “they’d never accept a whitesingles.com dating site,” are missing the point. First of all, I’d argue that Farmer’s only is pretty much a white dating site, but I digress. More importantly, it’s GOOD that we have places for people to congregate and meet others like them, not bad. And while what I’ve always called “reverse discrimination” is a real thing, that doesn’t mean that the solution is to force everyone to blend if they don’t want to.
Men need Elks Clubs where they can drink with only men. Women need bridal showers where they can be women without the annoyance of other men around. It’s ok people, to not include everyone in everything. As a side note, it’s also ok for your significant other to go somewhere without you…damn clingy people.
None of what I am suggesting, of course, is going to happen. We’ve raised entire generations on the notion of over-inclusiveness and it’s happening more and more. The scant examples you might see or hear about are just that’ scant. According to a survey done by David’s Bridal, more than 66% of brides and future brides now say they want their man at their bridal parties. The scant examples to the contrary do nothing more than the most damaging thing to the human soul; they offer hope where there really is none.