Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Rabbit Season! Duck Season!

It’s official…we’re living in a cartoon. There’s no other way to accurately describe it any longer. Just stay with me for a minute, because while none of this will admittedly solve anything, it is laughably beyond comical just how stupid we have become.


If you have children, have ever spent time with children, or once were a child (this should cover every living soul on planet Earth), then you can relate to what it’s like to try to pin them down when you’ve caught them in a lie. They are masters at trying to change the subject, distract you, and explaining how they didn’t say what they just said. Most notably, they will not only say things to your face that are provably untrue, they will continue to just make things up to further bolster the credibility of the original lie. And they just keep going and going and going.


I remember a doozy I tried to pull on my mom when I was around 10 years old. I grew up as what we called a “latchkey kid,” which, to the horror of too many of you means a child who returns to an empty home after school with no supervision because their parents are away at work. Yes, somehow I lived to tell my story.


Part of my responsibilities in exchange for being trusted with this independence were daily chores, which were left for me via a note on the dining room table. I recall it was usually 3-5 things per day like unload the dishwasher, vacuum a room or two, do some dusting, put away laundry, sweep the front porch (I used the hose because it was more fun), clean some windows, etc. In addition, I made my own meals before Little League practice and of course was expected to get my homework done. One day, all of my friends were free and had organized a baseball game in the park in our neighborhood right after school. I raced home, changed, and blasted through my chores half-assed. So half-assed, that I didn’t water the plants on the front deck. Totally forgot.


I got home two hours later, right before my parents, and set myself up at the dining room table, diligently doing my homework and looking like the perfect son. To be clear, there was no rule that I couldn’t have played baseball, or that I had to be home before they were, it just worked out that way on this day. The agreement was simply that I had to have my chores done before they came home, and everything else, from play time to homework, was up to my time management. After being home for a few minutes my mother asked me if I had watered the plants…and rather than simply say “oh shoot, mom I totally forgot, I am so sorry, I will do that right now,” the conversation went more like this:


MOM: Did you water the plants like your chore list said?

ROBBY: yeah, of course

MOM: You’re lying to me

ROBBY: No I’m not

MOM: Robert Edmund (middle name…bad sign)…don’t you dare lie to me (I believe at this moment her index finger was 1 centimeter away from my nose).

ROBBY: I’m not lying

MOM: why is the hose in the exact same place, laying the exact same way it was when I left this morning?

ROBBY: Because I was careful to put it back the way I found it like you’ve taught me (so lame).

MOM: Why is there not a drop of water anywhere on the deck between plants?

ROB: Because I was careful? (asked as a question, with a mild smirk, realizing I was losing, but hoping my cuteness might get her to break…no such luck)


Silent stare…this was my next chance to come clean…and so of course:


ROBBY: Actually, I kinked the hose after I watered each plant so no water would drip on the deck when I moved between plants.

MOM: Why is the dirt bone dry?

ROBBY: Because it’s hot


At this point, she grabbed me by the hand, took me out front, and shoved my index finger all the way into the dirt of one of the plants…it was so dry it was dusty. I then got a very spirited lecture about lying in general, let alone my mother, character, ethics, how a man’s word is all he has, and I was probably reminded that my grandfather was a marine and he didn’t fight for my freedom so that I could lie (even though technically that’s erroneous since lying is covered under the First Amendment…but I digress.


Your country is being governed and run by little Robby. At every single, solitary turn, you are lied to, and then another lie is told to make you believe the first one, and then things are literally made up, with flimsy or no facts to support them, and on and on and on it goes. It’s rabbit season, then it’s duck season, and it never ends.


17 months ago you were told to lockdown for two weeks to stop the spread so that hospitals could prepare for the inevitable onslaught of Coronavirus cases. Two weeks became four, then 10. You were told masks were a placebo, and then a month later, you were asked to wear a mask to protect others because we were all in this together. To protect yourself and everyone else, the most important thing was to socially distance yourself by at least 6 feet. Also, wipe down counters, groceries, door knobs, and everything that anyone anywhere ever touches, and make sure you check everyone’s temperature as they enter any establishment that is allowed to be open.


Memorial Day weekend hit and you had the audacity to want to leave your house and see people for the first time in 70 days, and less than a month later you were told that everyone had to wear masks to stop the spread and protect others, and remember, social distancing was still the most important thing, along with singing Happy Birthday while you washed your hands. Oh, and by the way, those temperature checks we’ve been doing? Yeah, those are worthless. Dr. Anthony Fauci announced in Mid-August (a year ago) that there was no need to check anyone’s temperature in an effort to detect Covid. Oh yeah, we’re calling it Covid now. Covid-19, to be exact. Oh, one more thing…when you go out to eat, to have to wear a mask until you sit down. Once you’re sitting down, Covid is no longer a threat.



A couple months later, as we rolled through the second wave of the virus spreading during summer, we were told to “hang in there,” reminded we were all in this together, and that everything would be better once the vaccine arrived at the end of the year. Just a little longer, they said. Oh, and those masks? Guess what? They protect you too! In fact, just to be safe, wear goggles and/or a face shield IN ADDITION to your mask!


Fall hit and despite all data showing that an average of 90% of all Americans were complying with mask wearing, there was yet another surge on its’ way. People were advised to wear face masks while having sex, and while we had our sports back, in the rare case you could attend a game, you had to wear a mask in the outdoor stadiums (unless of course you had food, and then it was fine). We were also told at this time that Covid was perhaps spreading through apartment toilet pipes, infecting other residents.


By the time January hit, the vaccines were slowly rolling out, and we were told there was light at the end of the tunnel. Just hold on a little bit longer and this will all be over! Also, stop wiping down surfaces because it’s meaningless and worthless…while you’re at it, though, wear two masks, because if one works, logic dictates that two is even better! (Fauci actually said that, just like little Robby would).


In May, vaccinated people were told they were free of masks! The vaccines are so effective, and so many people were getting vaccinated, that it was now safe to no longer wear a mask once you were vaccinated. You can’t get sick from the virus, and you can’t spread it either, because your viral load is so low. See? We told you if you’d just stick with us and hang in there, we would all get through this together!


And then, last week, you were told to put a mask back on, even if you’re vaccinated. In fact, if the CDC has its’ way, 70% of the country should be under a mask mandate as of this writing.


Why, you ask? Well…ummm…geee…well, you see, we have new scientific data that shows in rare instances some vaccinated people may spread the virus. Rabbit season says the vaccines are a miracle and work…Duck season says even if you’re vaccinated, you have to wear a mask, causing many people to say…”then why get it, it obviously doesn’t work?”


Rare, some, and may…that’s science! For days people demanded that the CDC produce this “new scientific data,” and they finally did on Friday (the day known by all to bury bad news since very few people are paying attention). Despite multiple studies, including one done by the CDC, showing that vaccinated people who get breakthrough Covid infections have between 40-60% less viral loads (thus making it almost impossible to infect someone else), the CDC has completely changed course, made everyone even more confused, and taken away all of the incentive to get vaccinated, all because of ONE incident over the Fourth of July in Massachusetts in which 469 vaccinated people got Covid. None died, and only 4 wound up in the hospital, but wait…it gets even better. Of those 469, 84 of them were found to have viral loads identical to those unvaccinated people with Covid. That’s it…that’s your science. Can’t you just hear little Robby explaining this?



So…umm, you see, 84 people out of 469 had lots of stuff in their nose that may be able to give the disease to a bunch of people who for whatever reason have chosen not to get vaccinated and so that means that, like, it could happen, and since it could happen, we have to stop it from happening by having people protect people that don’t want to be protected because SCIENCE.


Of course, all of this also ignores people who have natural immunity to the virus from having already contracted Covid. For some reason, they are NEVER mentioned or counted. It also completely betrays centuries of common sense medicine. One thing President Biden has right is that the media is foolishly and typically highlighting breakthrough cases of Covid amongst known vaccinated people in a way that is making people further question the effectiveness of having immunity. It’s sickening, no pun intended. Additionally, if you had Covid, or have gotten the vaccine, the death rate from breakthrough infections is 0.0005 percent. To put that in perspective, your chance of dying from a lightning strike is .0007 percent, and your chance of dying from a seasonal flu is 0.1 percent. If you’re vaccinated, you have a much greater chance of dying from a hornet, wasp or bee string, a dog attack, a car crash, drowning, sunstroke, or choking on food than you do of dying from covid-19. If someone doesn’t have immunity, that’s on them, not on those who are vaccinated. It’s time to drop this “I am my brother’s keeper” garbage and get back to living.


A friend of mine recently made this observation: What ever happened to social distancing, temperature checks and contact tracing, while masks remain the ultimate weapon against Covid? Could it be because there’s no money in the other three? After all, mask sales must be skyrocketing as a result of the CDC saying all kids K-12 should mask at school again, since obviously kids need to stay stylish and hip and get new masks as part of their back-to-school shopping.


All of this, mind you, is occurring as the United States is nowhere near a surge of Covid anything. As of July 31st,  only 5% of all people hospitalized in America have Covid, and in all of ICU’s, only 12% of the patients in the entire country are covid positive.


As a meme that’s going around says, “To defeat Delta variant, experts recommend doing all the things that didn’t work the first time”


Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom, where they are now two weeks into zero Covid restrictions, the Delta Variant has peaked and cases are plummeting, much to the chagrin of scientists and experts who predicted they would reach 200,000 cases per day…they never got above 54,000. Throughout the pandemic, England has been a month ahead of the U.S…what happened there, happened here weeks later. Could it be that we’re, oh, I don’t know, overreacting? Again? Of course not, because as the Godfather of doom himself, Dr. Fauci, said just this weekend “Things are going to get worse.”



Oh my stars! Might we have 10% of all hospitalized people with Covid? EEEK!


Rabbit season says our way out of this are vaccinations, duck season says that nothing is off the table, including more lockdowns, and the way to avoid those lockdowns is wear a mask.


Carrot! Stick! Carrot! Stick! Rabbit season! Duck season! Please, for the love of god will someone get Elmer Fudd to just blow my damn bill off, already?!?!


more posts in: