I Am Now A Climate Change Believer

I Am Now A Climate Change Believer

For years, I have argued against what used to be called Global Warming and is now called Climate Change for the same reasons uber-liberal comedian George Carlin never bought it either; It’s human arrogance and its’ mightiest. Our insistence on believing we can affect a planet we can’t even begin to explain is the superiority complex our species suffers from. Additionally, the “science,” is literally junk and has been proven multiple times to have been manipulated to come to the desired conclusion, not the conclusion proven by following the data. And, finally, of course there’s the data itself which is based solely on computer models. The same computer models they use to predict the weather, and we all know how good they are at that.

But that’s all changed now. I have converted. I am now a Climate Change believer.

What could have possibly changed, you ask? Simple, I finally came to my senses last week.

First let me tell you about the titular moment which changed my life forever. On Friday of last week, it was revealed that NASA (huge proponents of climate change) had determined that the snowpack in the Sierra Nevada — the major source of water for the state — is currently larger than the last four years combined. “The 2017 California snowpack is close to the largest on the record, which consists of decades’ worth of snow measurements made at ground level,” according to a NASA news release. The snowpack, which is made up of layers of snow that accumulate in the winter and spring months in the Sierra Nevada, is critical to California because it’s the key to the state’s water needs. During warmer months, the melting snow filters down the mountains into creeks, streams and rivers as it makes its way into the Golden State’s water system. Most of California’s annual precipitation — roughly 80 percent — comes as snow.


All of this came as quite a surprise to me, considering that for the past three years, we have been inundated with various climate change experts who have been warning us that drought was the “new normal,” for California and we better get used to water shortages.

Hysterically, on September 15, 2016 (right before Fall and winter began) a study was released which said, “A grim new study led by a UCLA geography professor revealed that the current 5-year drought in California could last indefinitely, with the resulting arid conditions becoming “the new normal” for the state. The study looked at prolonged periods of dryness in California over the past 10,000 years.” Ah, yes, there’s that same brilliant science they use to tell us why global climate warming change is imminent. They use historical data to predict the future, except they’re dreadfully wrong all of the time.


In 2015, an even more wrong study was published, once again proclaiming that California’s drought was permanent, as a result of Climate Change, of course, and going even further by stating that “With Climate Change there are a range of predictions about whether the state will face less precipitation or not, but all agree that the state’s precipitation will come in the form of rain, not snow, for which all of our water infrastructure has been designed.”


Did you catch that? ALL agree. Well that’s odd based on what NASA said last week which included the following (in case you don’t remember it from earlier): “The 2017 California snowpack is close to the largest on the record, which consists of decades’ worth of snow measurements made at ground level.” So much for the new normal and dire predictions.

So with that as the backdrop, why am I converting to being a Climate Change believer? Because of their reaction to the record setting rain and snowfall California has just experienced. Remember how for the past 3 years they’ve been telling us that due to Climate Change, California’s drought would be permanent? Well guess what they say caused the massive winter? That’s right! CLIMATE CHANGE!


This is the greatest scam ever perpetrated on humankind. No matter what happens, even if it’s in complete contravention with what you predicted, you simply circle back to “Climate change.”

Stand back in awe of this audacity: these clowns want us to change our very way of life because they say they know, based on their science, that climate change is going to ruin the Earth in the future. Yet when their science predicts the exact opposite of what ultimately happens, they simply double down on climate change being the culprit, even though they can’t explain or predict how or why. So let me get this straight…the very science you used to predict a permanent drought in California which turned out to be 100% wrong is what we’re supposed to trust in terms of dismantling America? Brilliant! They’ve found the ultimate loophole.

So, I’m a believer because I respect their audacity so much. Think of how you can apply their methods to every facet of life:
The next time my girlfriend wants me to go somewhere that I don’t want to go, I’m going to say I’m sick. Then, when she catches me doing something I want to do I’m going to tell her that because I’m sick I thought it would be good for me to get out and do something.

I’m going to renegotiate all of our contract demanding our fees be doubled based on the promise that our ratings will double over the next five years because we’re such a good show. When that doesn’t happen, I will simply explain that because we’re such a good show, people realized they couldn’t listen as much because it was entertainment overload.

I’m going to go on the air and proclaim that because President Trump is so unpredictable, we are most definitely going into World War 3. When that doesn’t happen, I’ll simply respond by saying we aren’t at war because Trump is so unpredictable.

I love being a climate change believer. It takes no work, no effort, no thinking, no questioning and most importantly, absolutely no soul.

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