Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Congratulations, California! You’ve finally become Texas.

For decades, there has been a small fringe group of knuckleheads in Texas who are constantly threatening to either have Texas secede from the Untied States and become its own country or, more likely, split itself into two states; “Normal Texas,” and “Hippie Texas.” Under the latter plan, all of the major cities of Dallas, Houston, Austin and San Antonio, which are run by what they call in Texas “Libtards,” would become “Hippie Texas.” The rest of the state would be “Normal Texas,” and bask in their good old-fashioned family values. This, of course, has never come close to happening and isn’t going to.

Enter California where yet another small fringe group of knuckleheads have emerged over the past decade threatening to break California into two or even three different states. The two-state idea got a lot of fanfare a few months ago which would see the lunatic left-wing fringe of California retain its name and be made up of all of the “wacky” coastal towns and cities. The rest of “New California” would, for the most part, be the rural, inner parts of the state…you know, the places no one would ever want to visit. Clearly not a tourism play. At least this dopey idea had its roots in the same twisted logic that Texas does; divide the state based on political leanings. Let California have sanctuary cities, gun restrictions, and illegal immigrants with driver’s licenses. Let New California enact open carry gun laws, ban gay marriage and bring back lynchings. Perfect.

As with most things that make nary a modicum of sense this idea died a quick death. There will be no New California. Nor will there be a State of Jefferson (Google it for true idiocy).

Enter CAL3, which actually seems to have enough signatures to perhaps make the November ballot. This brilliant idea would carve California into 3 different states, having nothing to do with political leanings. There would be Northern California, Southern California, and California. The same clown-shoe who is financing this dumbassery tried years ago to split California into 6 states! 6 states!
It’s still a long shot that this measure makes it to the ballot in November as there are many hurdles still to be leapt. Even if it did make the ballot and even if the state were dumb enough to vote affirmative, it would still have to be approved by the federal congress, which is beyond highly unlikely. In other words, it’s not going to happen. But remember, the man who just wrote that sentence said repeatedly that Donald Trump had no chance of being president right up until 8PM Pacific Time on election night, so what do I know?

The truth is that this stupid idea would benefit no one, at all, whatsoever, other than the rich and powerful. The triad is as follows:

                NORCAL: This state takes the second most conservative county in the state (Placer) and makes it part of the same state as places like San Francisco and San Jose

                CALIFORNIA: This state would be the tourism capital of the west as it would stretch from Monterey to Los Angeles and, once again, scoop up the most conservative county in what is now the state, Orange County, into a region that is dominated by liberals.

                SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: Compared to the other two states, this would be the most balanced, but not really when you truly look at the numbers. It would also be the armpit of the west, except for the fact that San Diego got sucked into this morass somehow.

In other words, this proposal in no way reflects an attempt to take like-minded people and incorporate them into their own state. In fact, when you really look at it, this would create 3 additional very liberal states, all of which would get senators and representatives and electoral college votes.

I used to believe that we would stop this idiocy at some point, but I am now convinced that asinine ideas like this are the new normal. Soon we’ll be voting on giving steak knives human rights, allowing hamsters to vote, and raising the age of adulthood to 35. Nothing surprises me anymore, for there are no limits to human stupidity.

So I say to you what I swore I’d never say again after Trump became President; there is no way this is going to happen. It probably won’t make the ballot, but it might. If it does, it will die a miserable death at the ballot box. Even if it passes, it won’t be ratified by congress. What a waste of time, money and resources.

And if I’m wrong and this is Trump 2.0, well then come visit me in Sacramento, Northern California and we’ll take a 150 minute drive south to Southern California and visit the beauty of Fresno and then turn to the west and drive 3 hours to California and see the beauty that is Monterey. Dumb.

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