The Humor of 2020

Regardless of your view on the Coronavirus, almost every single human alive is experiencing Pandemic Fatigue.


If you’re genuinely terrified of the virus, you are exhausted seeing people ignore guidelines and warnings and refusing to wear masks. If you’re a covidiot, you grew tired of lockdowns and fear mongering before summer and you just want to live with the virus and tell those who are afraid to be the ones who stay home. If you’re a small business owner, you wonder how much longer you’ll survive and your sleepless nights are countless. Basically, the only person not suffering pandemic fatigue is Jeff Bezos.


In times like these, we need to laugh. In fact, throughout much of 2020, the only way to cope with the lunacy we’ve all seen and experienced has been through humor. Sadly, much of it has been through the prism of laughing AT the decisions and rules imposed on us. Speaking of being exhausted, we’re all tired of either pointing out how stupid the Covid rules are, or wondering why more people don’t see it as clearly as some of us do. We’re all tired of the mask debate, just for different reasons. Most people don’t understand why we aren’t all just wearing masks and being good citizens, while some of us simply can’t comprehend how people can’t see clearly that they make no difference at all, whatsoever, anywhere…especially when the evidence of proof is endless. Alas, Groundhog Day goes on…


Which brings us to the NFL. In one memo, the National Football League has perfectly summed up everything about this world’s idiotic reaction to Covid-19…and the only thing you can do is laugh; uproariously.


Now…stay with me on this…on the day after Thanksgiving, the NFL announced that they had an “understanding that a number of players and staff celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with out-of-town guests.” Let’s start with that.


How do they know? We’re not sure, but in this day and age, nothing is kept secret; and for those who don’t know, the NFL is a modern day, luxurious internment camp. The league always knows…they’re like your parents on steroids, meth, and Red-Bull, so let’s take them at their word. If true, these players and coaches are selfish morons. When it comes to being part of the NFL in the midst of the season, choosing to have super-spreader events is not at all about personal freedom and “living with the virus.” It’s about one thing and one thing only; selfishness.


Just an hour before writing this, the NFL fined the New Orleans Saints $500,000 and took away a seventh-round draft pick because they didn’t wear masks during their postgame celebrations after beating Tampa Bay 38-3 in Week 9. Whether you like it or not, agree with it or not, or think it’s all just for image, the NFL has been brutal when it comes to enforcement over their Covid rules. Knowingly spending Thanksgiving with potentially infected people tells your teammates that you don’t give a damn about them. Not only can you lose draft picks and tons of money, there is a protocol in place for teams to forfeit games due to Covid outbreaks; and you’re willing to risk that so you can have turkey with your cousin? You are definitely not the guy I want in the foxhole next to me. Not to mention all of the down-trough workers in the office you affect by screwing with their paychecks and livelihood.


Remember that if you’re a part of an NFL organization, you are tested every single day of the week; and unless you come up negative, you aren’t allowed anywhere near the facility. There’s no “getting away” with anything.


With that said and established, here’s how the NFL reacted, and it is delicious. As an aside, it is also proof of what I said earlier this summer; Capitalism will lead us out of Covid. The NFL is a $15 billion annual industry and as of this writing, has pulled off 12 weeks of a 16-week season without cancelling a single game. They have had outbreaks, are in the midst of one right now, have rescheduled a handful of games, but have played every single one so far. How and why? As one of the greatest television sports executives in history, Don Ohlmeyer, once said, “The answer to all of your questions is MONEY.”


The NFL has played every single game because it pays the bills; for the owners, coaches, players, cheerleaders, office staffs, and referees. Not to mention the endless advertisers and all of their employees, the sports networks, and perhaps most notably, the gambling industry. The NFL has played every single game because if it didn’t, even more unknowable economic chaos would ensue; and the fact that they have played is to be celebrated, especially since not one single Covid hospitalization, let alone death, has been traced back to the NFL.


Which brings us back to the hilarity of the NFL’s reaction to its players and coaches spending Thanksgiving with out-of-town guests. If the NFL and the players union genuinely believed that Covid-19 was a serious health threat to them, (and/or that the spread of it was a serious health threat to the community as a whole) they would immediately cancel the entire weekend of games and order a league wide 2-week pause and quarantine for all.


They didn’t.


The NFL claims to know that a very concerning number of its’ players and coaches have been potentially exposed to the Coronavirus; this means that those players and coaches can and will spread the virus to others as they interact with them.


Pause here for the discussion about masks; if they work, why would the NFL be concerned…insert idiotic answers and screams of “SCIENCE” here.


And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming; The NFL claims to know that a very concerning number of its’ players and coaches have been potentially exposed to the Coronavirus; this means that those players and coaches can and will spread the virus to others as they interact with them. And so, the NFL has ordered that all team facilities will close on Monday and Tuesday. All activities will be conducted virtually except essential medical treatment and rehab, according to an NFL memo sent to all teams Friday evening.


Pause for critical thinking…logic…reason…


The NFL, in an alleged attempt to stop the spread of the virus has ordered teams to stay home on Monday and Tuesday…AFTER flying all across the country to play games on Sunday. Games, which involve endless physical contact and droplets everywhere. And, to be clear, this can’t be cast as the NFL forcing the players to put their lives at risk, for the players’ union is willingly going along with this policy.


Thus, this can be viewed one of two ways; either the NFL is as stupid as a society that spent days standing in line to get tested for Covid as a means to justify traveling for Thanksgiving, even though that betrays every single thing we’ve been told about the virus and its’ 14 days of virulence…or…the NFL is doing this SOLELY for appearances and virtue signaling. The latter seems most obvious, and most sad, but there’s a glimmer of hope in it, albeit a very dim glimmer.


The NFL has essentially provided a road map to all of the world as it relates to how to succeed in a society of stupidity; lie. Lie, virtue signal, wag your finger, pretend to agree with scaredy-cat morons, but ultimately, ignore the endless social media cries for you to shut down your league and instead press on and live life; play the games; make money…and hurt absolutely no one, while providing an escape and endless joy to so many who need it.


It is ironic that, prior to Covid, we spent a decade demonizing the single most watched form of sports entertainment in America for “crippling” its’ players with concussions (caused by grown men willingly choosing to play the game knowing the risks) and we are now, collectively relying on that same institution to get us through the impending “dark winter” that awaits us all vis a vie “the virus.” And more ironically, we will continue to demean and dismiss and even blame the NFL for being reckless and dangerous and heartless, while we gather around the TV and watch them play in record numbers. How can you NOT laugh at this?!?!?!


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