I Got Nothin’

It’s 2pm Sunday afternoon as I start this and I have no idea what to write…it’s not writer’s block as much as it is mental mush…A linear, coherent thought is nowhere in my future today so instead of composing an actual essay, I’m going to bombard you with random crap running through my brain as follows:


– Saturday Night Live has truly become one of the worst shows on television. The only reason I still watch it is so that I can publicly complain about how awful it has become.


– Am I the only one completely done with Dr. Fauci and his proclamations of what we’ll be “allowed” to do in the months ahead? Today he teased the possibility of baseball games having fans…hey asshole, that’s already a thing.


– If I see one more headline about how spring breakers are going to be the cause of a fourth wave of Covid in America while ignoring tens of thousands of Latin American “migrants” crossing the border I’m going to puke.


– So, apparently the San Francisco 49ers are done with Quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo; as of this writing he’s still a member of the team but the Niners traded up for the draft and have publicly acknowledged they’re going after a quarterback. This should be interesting…do they spend the 2021 season allowing Jimmy G, as a clearly lame duck QB, to lead the team and apply for his next job? Or do they throw a college kid behind center and hope the rest of the talent on that team can lead them back to the super bowl? And what if Jimmy G gets them a championship? Ponder on your own time…


– Does anyone even remember the TV show “Hogan’s Heroes?” It was an “old” show when I was a kid but I’ve been re-watching it lately and it’s not only hysterical but fascinating from a historical perspective. The fact that World War II was won largely thanks to an underground network of allied soldiers willfully being imprisoned and supplying endless intelligence to the cause is one that seems so antiquated in today’s selfish age that it’s hard to fathom.


– George Carlin was the greatest stand-up comedian of all-time. That is all


– Did you see Brandon’s Instagram post on Saturday? (@not_strangled_bacon)…The one of just him with his sunglasses on and his mumbo-jumbo message? That’s the Brandon I love; he’s back! He looks amazing and is rediscovering himself in ways that make me so happy.


– My wife, Christina, and I, went out to dinner with friends Friday night at a super-spreader restaurant that we love and I discussed the fact that, given the choice, I prefer the company of black people. Now, it so happens I was the only white person at the table, but as I shared with my fellow diners, in my experience, black people are the most emotionally authentic people I have ever encountered, as a rule. They let you know how they feel instantly, and without worry or concern of judgment; which is ironic considering their history within this nation. What’s troubling to me is that so much of what I just wrote is dripping in modern day racism. Can you imagine if I had said that I hate being around black people? Or what if someone said they only like being with white people? Cancel culture bring it on…we aren’t allowed to speak our truths and that’s going to be the end of us.


– Can everyone stop asking why an American “needs” so many guns? To be candid, the answer is that I don’t have any God damned idea why anyone needs more than a couple hand guns for personal protection. Outside of hunting rifles and gun collectors the idea of having many guns makes absolutely no sense to me. If we find ourselves in a situation that my wife, a 12-year army veteran who served in Afghanistan, my dogs, and I, along with the very few guns we have can’t defend ourselves, than we’ve arrived in a world I no longer want to live in. But that’s me…leave everyone alone for God’s sake. No, I can’t tell you why anyone should feel that they need to own a dozen or more guns for personal protection but I don’t have to answer that question and you shouldn’t be asking it.


– Yes, Asian-American hate crimes are on the rise…no, there is absolutely no evidence at all, whatsoever that the Atlanta massacre had anything to do with race. Stop it immediately.


– News from the future…Jesus will not be showing up this Sunday.


– You may not be paying attention to the level of knowing that the George Floyd murder trial is underway. Here’s another prediction…Derek Chauvin is not going to be found guilty of murder, and that means that no matter what he is or isn’t found guilty of, this country is going to burn…again. Get your plywood ready.


– Deborah Birx…remember her? She was scarf-face standing next to Fauci for all of 2020…she made a colossal fool of herself this weekend by claiming that the overwhelming majority of American deaths from Covid could have been prevented if more states would have locked down tighter and sooner. That, of course, defies all logic and history and ignores the devastating effects of the lockdowns on other areas of our health, but hey, whatever you have to tell yourself to secure your legacy, good for you…you lying piece of trash.


– Memo to Tucker Carlson of Fox News…not everything is an attack. Stop claiming that the ship stuck in the Suez Canal is some sort of terrorist or Chinese plot against America and Capitalism. Guess what? Sometimes shit just happens.


– Did you see the video last week of President Biden tripping multiple times up the stairs to Air Force One? And then his meandering, sometimes senile press conference? I’m starting to hope that the conspiracy theories insisting he isn’t actually running the country are true.


– I’ll end on a potentially positive note…I know that the last year has taught us, more than ever to not have hope. However, this Thursday, the universe may return to normal when one of the greatest characters in television history returns in the form of Elliot Stabler, formerly of Law and Order, SVU. That show went straight into the toilet when he left, but he’s back this week with his own show. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll have a bit of quality entertainment…if only for a brief while.


Huh…I guess I did have a lot to say…

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