Her Name Is Christin-aaaaaaa

I get it…we live in a verbally lazy world. Emojis and text abbreviations are changing the way we communicate and I’m fine with that, to a point. I’m not (yet) the old man on the porch insisting you use the Queens’s English.

FYI, BRB, IMO, B-T-Dubbs, fine, whatever.

I’m not sure how I feel about people saying aloud to my face “LOL” rather than actually laughing, but if we’re all so dead inside that we can no longer actually laugh out loud, that’s fine too.

But I draw the line at lazily disrespecting peoples’ names, and it needs to stop.

My wife’s name is Christina. Not Christine. Stop it immediately. This happens far too often and in too many settings and I just don’t get it.

In the latest example of this lunacy, I went to the pharmacy this weekend and literally said “I am here to pick up for Christina Williams,” and after giving her birthdate the clerk said, “yes I have one for Christine.”

This enraged me. Not only had I said her name out loud, but she also had my wife’s name in front of her on her computer screen and still said “Christine.”

“No,” I said, “That’s wrong…I’m here for Christina Williams, not Christine.” She looked at me slightly bewildered and, to be fair, she may have been preoccupied with thoughts of her home country invading Ukraine, but that’s hardly my concern.

Now…you may be thinking “is this a real problem?”

Yes, it goddamn is, and no, people starving in Africa don’t make me rethink my position on this!

A person’s name is literally who they are to strangers. It doesn’t define them as people once you know them, but it absolutely labels them to those who don’t, and the least we can do is to call people by their chosen names. My wife is Christina, not Christine so get it right immediately.

And why does this happen so often? It isn’t a case of saying “Christina” as being too laborious as I have people in my life who intentionally and affectionally add syllables to my name; my wife, mother-in-law and Queenie all occasionally call me Robert as opposed to Rob so why is it so difficult for so many to say Chris-Teen-ahhhhh?

We are years-long members of a cigar lounge where people still call her Christine…we have friends who know better and mean well that still call her Christine…WHY?

Is there some sort of issue with the sound “UH,” because that’s all it is…Christine with an “UH” at the end. Jesus…that’s her name, say it!

It’s fine if your name is Stephanie and you like and allow people to call you “Steph.” If Brandon told me tomorrow to stop calling him “Brando,” I would…why can’t people say CHRISTINA!?!?!?!?!?!?!

And to be clear, no, she doesn’t like to be called Christine and I am going to be correcting people always moving forward because it’s beyond disrespectful. I don’t allow people to call me “Bob,” so I won’t allow others to call my wife anything other than Christina.

Which brings up an interesting point; there was a time in my life…long long ago in a galaxy far far away where I didn’t have the confidence to correct people when they called me “Bob,” or “Ron.” Those days are long behind me and should be for you as well. Your name is how you begin almost all relationships; it is the moniker by which you are known to others, and it matters. People must respect it, and if you don’t teach others to respect you, they won’t, period.

Is this the dumbest, most self-serving, soapbox ever? Probably, but I don’t care because it makes a point near and dear to my heart. My wife’s name is Christina…SAY IT!

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