Goo-Goo. Ga-Ga. Four More Years.

In a democracy, even a fake one like America’s, leaders reflect the society.

We are a nation of children. Grown adults by years, abject toddlers by behavior. We cry, whine and moan about the most meaningless things. We are incapable of any sort of logical, reasonable, calm disagreement. No one knows how to talk to the opposite sex. Hell, no one knows how to talk to their own gender…all 57 and counting of them. The “men” of society are completely stunted and the women are more vicious to each other than a starving pack of hyenas. It’s an absolute playground out there.

If you can find a man under the age of 40 who knows how to change a tire, stop a leaky faucet, build a wood fire, replace a garbage disposal, and actually look you in the eye while giving you a firm handshake, you have found a unicorn. Capture him immediately and bring him to the nearest Elks Club, VFW, or Cigar Club you can find to collect your reward.

Christ, if you can find a man under 40 who knows how to tie a tie, grocery shop for himself, wet shave with a razor, maintain a conversation without using the sound “uh,” three times, and can unhook a bra with one hand, take him to Johns Hopkins so that we can capture his DNA. We’ll restart the gender small and work our way up.

Meanwhile, the women of America continue to sabotage themselves in the most cannibalistic of ways. They gather together and demand that they not be objectified for their bodies and then they call the first woman they see wearing a skirt above their knee a slut. They bemoan body shaming while giving each other eating disorders; and with the advent of the internet and social media, they don’t even have to leave their houses, err, jobs (sorry ladies) to do so. A few pig, cow and hippo emojis and GIFs do the trick. And while this one isn’t new, it’s at an all-time high and the vitriol attached to it is more vile than ever: Wanna have some fun? Grab a bucket of popcorn and a beer (you millennial boys can have an IPA and you Gen Z-ers can vape), gather a dozen women in a room and throw this piece of chum in the water; Can a working mom be as good a mother as a stay-at-home mom? And…for bonus points…is a stay-at-home mother really even a woman in the 21st century, or is she more of a hand-maiden? GO!

When that is your society, it is idiotic (and, ironically, childish) to think that you are going to have great men and women rising to the challenge of running the country. The greatest amongst us see what has just been described and want nothing to do with it, and certainly don’t want to take responsibility for it. Meanwhile, just as in high school, the bullies, the opportunistic, and the socially awkward work their way into positions of power and influence.

In 2016, America threw a temper-tantrum. Faced with the two worst candidates in the history of time for president, the nation chose the lying, incoherent bully over the wicked witch of the world. (As an aside, this is where the children start screaming about the Electoral College…just shove a pacifier and a copy of the U.S. Constitution in their mouth).

In 2020, we will have a similar choice.

President Trump has done many good things. I realize that statement triggers many of you into a vomitous rage and for that I am sorry, not sorry. If I hear one more man-child claim that the state of today’s American economy is to be credited to Barack Obama I might hold my breath until I die myself. Conversely, if I hear one more Trump supporter deny the insidious state of income inequality in America, I’m going to poke my own eyes out.

This isn’t about Trump’s policies or decisions. It’s about the fact that one out of every three people in this country unfailingly follow and support him as he lies, name calls, obfuscates, insults, deflects, and bullies his way through each day. I am convinced that somewhere in Donald Trump is some sort of genius; he was completely prescient when, during the 2016 campaign he uttered the now famous phrase, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and wouldn’t lose any voters, okay?” He’s right. He was right then and he’s more-right than ever now. Brilliant. And a total damnation of a large portion of our society, all of whom are children. When we are young, we follow the popular kids, or our friends, or the best athlete, off any and all cliffs we can find. That’s what being an idiot teenager is all about; it’s how we learn. Or it used to be; now we just stop maturing apparently around age 15.

And at that age, we also stupidly fight fire with fire, because our yet-to-be-developed brains don’t understand the concept of there being a better way. You slept with my boyfriend? Oh yeah? Well I’ll sleep with yours then! What did you say about my dad? Well your dad sucks off your dog!

Enter the Democratic Party, whose “leaders” have recognized that their supporters are equally as stunted emotionally and intellectually as Trump’s. And just as in high school, the bullies, the opportunistic, and the socially awkward have worked their way into positions of power and influence and are now using it to make the most childish, outlandish, asinine proclamations ever seen or heard, knowing it’s the way to victory amongst their followers.

When we are children, our parents lie to us. Constantly. From Santa Clause to the Tooth Fairy. From “If you keep making that face, it’ll get stuck like that forever,” to “Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis.”

And, parents bribe us. And/or threaten, depending on their style. The scenario is the same, the tactic is different. The child and parent are in a grocery store shopping and the kid is misbehaving:

  • TACTIC 1: FEAR: If you don’t shape up right now, we are leaving, you are being grounded, and I am taking away things that you value.
  • TACTIC 2: BRIBE: If you just behave your way through this, I will buy you a toy and a candy bar at checkout and you can watch Spongebob all day long when we get home.

And so, we have 20 alleged adults running around the country treating their constituents like the children that they are. The scare tactics involve making sure that everyone knows that the planet is going to die in less than 20 years, and perhaps, before that, we are all going to be shot by “assault rifles,” and perhaps, before that, President Trump is either going to start a nuclear war or declare himself a dictator…or both.

Enter the bribery! Best said in that voice that adults use when they are talking to a baby: “Coochie coochie coo…I am going to give you free healthcare and free college and free childcare…yes I am! And I am going to take away everyone’s guns so that no one ever hurts you again, and I will heal the planet, and I will make sure that no one makes fun of you no matter what for any reason, and I will give you $1000 per month just because you are you, and I am going to wipe out any debt you have related to college, and, if you’re African-American, I am going to give you money to make-up for what America did to your ancestors. What’s that, you say? You’re gay and have been for years? And you had to file taxes separately because you couldn’t marry in this terrible country? No problem! We’ll re-imburse you too! Coochie-coochie-coo.”

Look it up; that’s all real and not at all hyperbolic. And it’s all absurd on its’ face. But not to about 33% of the population.

And for those of you bad at math (which according to the most recent statistics is all of us since we rank 31st out of 35 industrialized nations, barely ahead of such beauties as Croatia, Bulgaria, and Kosovo), that leaves about 33% of us; or it used to. Over the last 3 years, more than half of that 33% has given in to peer pressure and chosen a team, believing that it was a necessity. Bullied mainly by social media and a completely corrupt right and left wing media (if you think there’s an objective news outlet in America you truly are living in the neighborhood of make-believe), we’re down to about 15% of us who will decide the election in 2020 (at least, those of us who live in states where it matters). In other words, about 3,000 people in Nevada, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Colorado will swing the election. And they will swing it for Trump if nothing changes.

There are still enough Americans left who know what B.S. looks and smells like. In 1996, America looked at Bill Clinton and said “he’s doing a good job and he looks us in the eye and tells us he’s full of crap. I like that.”

In 2020, Americans will look at Donald Trump, as compared to whatever social outcast will most likely be running against him and say “he’s doing a good enough job and he is beyond delusional and a pathological liar, but somehow, he’s more grounded than the other choice. I like that.”

That’s how scary it has gotten. Donald Trump is the adult in the room. Four more years it is.

more posts in: