With so much “bad” happening right now, ranging from the Invasion of Ukraine to the rage over abortion again taking center stage in America, let’s escape for a few minutes and talk about something less important, seemingly trivial, yet necessary to confront.
The Major League Baseball and National Football League Hall of Fames are the most coveted and noteworthy Halls in all of America. There’s a Hall for almost every interest, ranging from croquet to paper. I’m not sure why we need an Insurance Hall of Fame, but I sure am glad there’s the AVN Hall of Fame, which honors the best of the best in the porn industry. I suppose there’s a reason why the Mascot Hall exists, so too the Quilters, Scuba Divers, and Internet Halls of Fame.
All of which makes the most embarrassing Hall of Fame of them all so shameful.
You see, the Basketball Hall of Fame actually inducts people that have something to do with the game; either as a player, coach, or even referee of the game of basketball.
The AVN Hall of Fame includes porn stars, directors, and even companies that directly play a role in making world class pornography.
The debate over what exactly a genre of music is defined as has raged since the first caveman uttered out the original version of Ooooooga-Booooga. Just recently on the RAD show, we debated what exactly defines “Classic Rock,” music; is it age? Feel? Sound? Can Grunge be Classic Rock since Grunge, at its’ height, was played endlessly on every mainstream rock station in America? Are hair bands classic rock? What about bands like Linkin Park, who were at their peak 20 years ago?
One thing that was never debated was whether or not Janet Jackson belongs to the category. Do you know why? Because she clearly has nothing at all whatsoever to do with rock music. Oh sure, occasionally a rock artist will find their way to the pop category with a certain song, or specific sound. Aerosmith has charted on the Billboard Hot 100 more than once, Journey a dozen times, and the aforementioned Linkin Park a half dozen times, all while also being played on Rock stations. But never have you once turned on a self-respecting rock station, whether it be classic, mainstream, grunge, or anything in between and heard Madonna.
And yet, somehow, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame includes both Janet Jackson and Madonna amongst its’ inductees. Not to mention James Taylor, Abba, Donna Summer, Run DMC, Bill Withers, Public Enemy, and NWA. Jesus jumped-up Christ.
I realize this complaint is neither unique nor new; people have been arguing about how in the world pop and rap stars are in any way deserving of being enshrined alongside the inarguables like Zeppelin, The Beatles, Pink Floyd and the like since the Hall began. And of course, there’s the annual list of bands that aren’t in the Hall, which, when compared to knowing Abba and NWA are in, makes the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame lose all credibility. Somehow, Madonna and Donna Summer are in, but Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, Pantera, Stone Temple Pilots and even Ozzy Freaking Osbourne (as a solo artist) aren’t!
Nothing has been more embarrassing and telling than the 2022 inductees for the shear whiplash you get from imaging how the extremes on each side could ever possibly be uttered in the same sentence as “rock and roll.” The only acts that belong amongst this year’s inductees are Judas Priest and Pat Benatar. The absurdity of Harry Belafonte, Carly Simon, Duran Duran, and The Eurythmics speak for themselves. But the three points on the triangle that level waste to this garbage hall are Eminem, Lionel Richie, and Dolly Parton. Yes, Dolly Parton, whose only association with this genre of music is a lyric in one of her songs in which she says “I’m a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll,” which she sang in a COUNTRY song (and it was a remake of Donny and Marie’s biggest hit…also, not rock and roll artists).
All of this would be a non-issue if they would have named the Hall what it clearly is; The Musical Performers Hall of Fame. There’s nothing at all “Rock and Roll” about so many of the inductees that it’s both an insult to the genre, and a slap in the face at some of the greatest musical performers of all time who AREN’T in. After all, if somehow NWA and Public Enemy are in the Hall, how is Snoop Dogg not? Or Mariah Carey, for that matter?
And don’t get me started on the fact that what is supposed to be the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in one of America’s worst cities, Cleveland, and for no legitimate reason at all whatsoever. Juts because Drew Carey sang “Cleveland Rocks,” doesn’t make it true. Other than Nine Inch Nails and Joe Walsh, nothing resembling rock has come out of that sewer by the Cuyahoga River, unless of course you consider Tracey Chapman and her depressing ass “fast Car,” Rock and Roll, which the Hall of Fame probably will soon. Pathetic.
See? Wasn’t that a fun few minutes? Isn’t it nice to occasionally get all ginned up over something meaningless, yet not?
Now, you may resume worrying about soaring prices, Roe versus Wade, Covid, masks, the legitimacy of the 2020 election, the current President’s mental state, war in Europe, the baby formula shortage, hepatitis in children, the soaring crime rate, record-high illegal immigration, The Johnny Depp/Amber Heard cringeworthy trial, the popularity of Doctor Strange and what it says about our society, and why the UFC scale wasn’t working properly this weekend. Enjoy!
